Shouldn’t the world have stopped turning?
Shouldn’t markets have crashed?
Shouldn’t countries in the tropics have seen snow,
and Antarctica burned to ash?
Shouldn’t there be a hole
in the center of the earth,
allowing me to see both ends?
Shouldn’t the sun fall
and rain rise?
Shouldn’t we begin walking on the sky,
and looking up at the earth?
Shouldn’t mountains have melted?
When they said you died —
to me,
a law of the universe had been broken.
Yet the world kept turning.
I want to yell at the top of my lungs
until my throat burns —
“She’s no longer here.
My person.
My friend.
She’s disappeared.”
But they’d probably say I’m crazy…
They wouldn’t be wrong.
In my reality,
there is a gaping hole.
A world with your absence
cannot be reconciled.
Yet they move on.
Yet some cheer.
Yet you’re not here.
I suppose that makes it all the more sensical —
the lack of an implosion of all forces.
The absence of a response.
It aligns with this absurdity
almost too perfectly.
But within me,
is a storm —
a fire so furious,
it’ll never be put out.
And I suppose,
within me,
new laws have been formed.
New elements established.
New beings created.
Old beliefs snuffed out.
In me,
there’s an awakening,
a quieting,
a longing.
Perhaps, for now,
the riot of my soul
can quell my disbelief.
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